I hope mine doesn't look like that
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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