all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
