I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
