Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Blood and glitter go together right?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Your cock deserves a montage
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
