a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
