you're like a bully in the Christmas story
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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