Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
