Don't you send me to vm
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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