She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
