Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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