I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
