so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
