Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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