The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
