I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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