You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
