Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
