I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
