Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
