the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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