He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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