One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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