I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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