I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
