Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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