It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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