i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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