She's JV to your varsity
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
