I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
