You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Your penis caused this!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
