Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
