so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize