I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So gin and wine won't be happening again
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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