just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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