on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
