Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
