There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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