So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
