names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
