i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
