Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
