So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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