You made me cry and you don't even care
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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