You can't motorboat a personality
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
