I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
