Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
