Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
