and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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