how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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