Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
