My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
