I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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