If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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