that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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