dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize