I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
