nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
