You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Randomize
