How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize