So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
