when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
