I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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