This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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